Why do women pursue unavailable men?
Why do women pursue unavailable men? Well I think we all can pretty
much guess the top number one answer to that one. See, we as women
like to believe that we can change a man. We believe that if we become
what that man needs he will change for us, but it doesn’t work that
way. A man will only change for a woman he sees himself marrying and
what’s so killing you wont need to show or prove to him that your the
one. You wont have to do a darn thing. If he feels like you could be
the one, he is going to fully commit himself to you and only you. Once
you get this in your head, you will never waste your time again trying
to validate your worth.
Now that I have spoken for those women who typically don’t walk on
the wild side..LOL, I am going to give it to you from the perspective
from the women who typically enjoy pursuing unavailable men. I know
this may sound a little crazy, but being able to get a man at an
inconvenience creates a thrill for some women, whether the
inconvenience is with him being already someone else man (ex. Olivia
Pope , the episode where Fitz finally left Mellie and then Olivia
moved into the White House and only after a few weeks of being there
she realized she loved Fitz more when he was unavailable ),
subconsciously she isn’t ready for a relationship or both.
The reason I can speak from this perspective is because I was the
one subconsciously not ready for a relationship and whenever I met a
man that was the same I was all in, well all out. LOL.. The fwb (
friends with benefits) was in full effect in my early 20’s. I was down
with everything except for emotions. I had been played so many times
before so I changed my mindset to “if I play the game, like they play
it, I wont get played”. It was so much easier to deal with a man who
wasn’t there emotionally and didn’t need me to be there emotionally.
So needless to say I built the Great Wall of China around my heart,
and pursuing unavailable men turned into hobby.
My reasons for being subconsciously not ready for relationships may
differ from other women, and I’m not the one to judge. For all I know
me having problems with emotional attachment may go a little deeper
than just being hurt by little grown boys. Just in case if your
wondering am I still pursuing unavailable men, nope, but I am
proceeding dating with caution.
Written by: Jeanisha, Wifey Staff Member